#46

On the way to school, I usually burst into tears. It takes me around 40 minutes to get to school. The road is so straight, so I don't need too much time to think where I should go, and then lots of complex thoughts intrude my mind.

I miss my dad so much. I think of every moment with him in my life. He did so many things for me just to make me happy, even in the end of his life. It must have been a torture for him to bear those treatments and therapies, but he tried so hard to defeat his disease just because of us. He knew that we didn't want him to leave. I knew he did think about giving up many times whenever he felt painful or uncomfortable after the chemotherapy or radiotherapy, but he still chose to be a fighter, to be our hero.

The last moment of his life I was holding his hand. His hand was so soft and warm.

I went to the hospital every day after work, and had dinner with him and my mom. It was so tiring, but soon I realized that even if he did nothing, just his existence made me feel secure and relieved. I knew that after I left the hospital, I would be alone. I was so lonely then. I hugged Mr. Ugly to fall asleep, and tried to escape from the reality in the dreams. I was waiting every day, waiting for the time when the doctor allowed my dad to go back home. Maybe it would be tomorrow, next week, or next month. He would be able to go home soon I just believed.

The end of the story was so sorrowful and beautiful like the ending of any soap operas. I was holding his hand and seeing the number of his heartbeat was decreasing till zero. His time stopped but our time still kept going.